All My Secrets

My 3 weeks of Christmas vacation is swiftly coming to an end. After my university exams, God knows I really needed those 3 weeks but I think Im ready to go back. I had a great Christmas, and Birthday for that matter. My family threw me a surprise Birthday party. Not a huge one, just a few good friends, but I loved it. My mom made me a big snow man cake and my sister and brother-in-law gave me a teddy-bear hamster as a present. I named him Hiccup, after the character from the movie 'How To Train Your Dragon'. I know alot of people dont like rodants of any kind, even fuzzy little hamsters, but he really is super cute. When I look at his little face then he reminds me of a bear, I suppose thats why they're called teddy-'bear' hamsters. I almost didnt know if I was going to make it home for my Birthday, I had my last exam the morning of my Birthday, and my parents were driving up to get me after it, but there was severe flooding in the area of my home town. Parts of roads and highways were washed away, and downtown of my hometown was covered in four feet of water. My parents were determined to get me though, so they took the long way around to pick me up. It added 3 hours onto their drive, but they still came...  It may have been due to the fact that I had just turned 19, which happens to be the legal drinking age in Canada, I donno if they were thinking they'd rather have me home and outta trouble or what ; ) Either way, I made it home and the flood waters are gone. Im seriously blamming global warming.

My whole life I have absolutely hated cooking. Mostly because I lack the patience for it and as a result I burn everything, and I do mean everything... Have any of you ever burned canned meatballs? Or forgot about the potatoes that were boiling until all the water evaporated and there was really nothing left except for that awful brunt smell? This Christmas my mom gave me a cup that said 'Its not burnt until I say it is'. Despite this, I Love food and I Love to eat. My Christmas vacation is almost over and then Ill be back in the city for university, and so I wrote up a grocery list matching all the things that Ive been planning to cook. Thinking about it makes my mouth water and Ive been craving certain things like a pregnant woman. Its actually quite rediculous. Julia couldn't even boil an egg when she got married, but she loved to eat, and that made all the difference in the world. I mean she's famous, or was famous, Im not sure shes still alive... Anyways she turned into a great cook and I can boil an egg, although my mom told me that my fried ones taste like rubber. Either way, Im deteremined to make good food, Im making it my new years revolution.

 Perfectly imperfect and nothing less then beautiful... thats what life is when deciede that your not going to be afriad, you can trust, you can love, you can believe... you can be happy.

You know how everyone always says "It'll be worth it in the end" ... with anything stressfull ... well, its true. My sister was married this weekend, and God only knows the stress that my parents and I went threw for her year long engagement. But, it was worth it once the day of the wedding came. It was worth every indecision she had, everytime (out of the million times) that she asked me if I liked something, if it was the right colour, if she should buy it, if I could do something for her, if I could help her with something... it was worth it all. I was the maid of honour and it truely was an honour. Thinking about it now, I still feel just really touched by the whole exsperience and so happy for the both of them. It was the first time that I was ever in a wedding, Ive only ever seen other wedding parties and it was a great experience... The bachelorette party that I threw was super fun, helping set up the reception hall the day before with the rest of the wedding party, staying up with my sister and the other brides maids, driving with them all, it made for one of the best experiences so far this summer, and one of the best in my life.

This was picture was taken by my dad, when I have actuall pictures taken by the photographer then Ill post a few!

My days are colors on a water stained picture
my nights are sparkling dark waves,
turning my longings, hopes and dreams to shades of greys.
My dreams are clouds, whisking away from me,
whisking away from me, to another place.
Yet their tears stay awhile, while they are grey,
to water stain my days.
My wishes are shooting stars, falling away from me,
falling away from me, to another place.
Yet they show me their dazzling light,
reflecting off the night skies face.
All the while I cling to my picture of hope with white knuckled hands.
It anchors me into the dark, sparkling ocean, burrowing into the sands.
The clouds and stars are mirrowed in its dark, still face.
The clouds and stars are made touchable, reflecting my picture of hope - grace. 

I just wrote this poem, not two minutes ago. Im thinking about entrying it into a poetry contest and Id love to hear some feed back : )